Loving Yourself

"If we don't feel we are getting enough love, very often we replace the emptiness inside with food" - Debbie Johnson, Think Yourself Thin

One of the best things I ever did to overcome emotional eating was learning to love myself.

Loving yourself can literally change your life. I'm not talking here about the superficial "I'm so beautiful. I have better clothes than her. I have a better job than him. I'm better than you" type of love.

Loving yourself is not about anyone else. It's about deciding to be your own best friend - to fight for your life.

I'm talking about accepting yourself at your core - loving yourself unconditionally even in spite of your foibles and faults.

Hating yourself - or refusing to accept yourself - until you reach some goal size doesn't help you lose weight. In fact it can actually hurt you.

I really believe that our bodies are wiser than we give them credit for. They know if we're walking around criticizing ourselves or thinking self-hating thoughts like "I'm so fat.", "My thighs are too big." or "I hate my stomach."

These kind of self-critical thoughts can show up in many ways. Maybe our thighs get even bigger and we put on extra weight. Maybe we feel tired and lethargic.

We may fear trying new things. We may strive to get approval from other people - approval that should really be coming from ourselves. We may even experience health problems.

According to Debbie Johnson, author of Think Yourself Thin,

"The person whose weight is hanging on due to self-protection has likely been abused or overly critized...It's the subconscious mind's way of expressing itself...saying 'Don't hit me, don't hurt me...but if you do, I have lots of padding!'...

This weight will often drop away simply with the ability to love oneself enough to set boundaries, to say no and learn the fine art of inner and outer self-defence"

I once heard a therapist say 'Our bodies are like children - they don't respond to being yelled at or criticised. They respond to love'.

I found this to be true. When I started practicing unconditional acceptance of my body I found that I was less anxious, less fearful of what others thought, much happier and more energetic. Plus most of my urges to overeat disappeared as well.

How do you practice loving yourself? Here are 3 quick steps to loving yourself:

1) Decide to Love Yourself

Loving and accepting yourself - just like loving anyone else - is a decision. You have the power to do it.

Make a clear decision that from now on you're going to be your own best friend. You're going to listen to, care for and accept your body. You're going to take responsibility for fulfilling your own emotional and physical needs.

This doesn't mean that you don't need anyone else. We all need other people. It just means that other people aren't the main sources we look to in order to get approval and acceptance.

2) Watch Your Thoughts

Refuse to think negative thoughts about yourself. If you catch yourself thinking something like 'I hate my thighs' stop immediately.

Replace this thought with a powerful positive thought like 'I love my thighs - they're beautiful and getting more beautiful every day'

Positive thinking doesn't mean you stop reaching for new goals like a slimmer body. It does mean that you refuse to judge yourself and put yourself down.

Sure you have faults - everyone does. Loving yourself means you accept your entire self - while striving to get better in certain areas.

3) Stop Demanding Perfection

One of the worst things we can do is hold ourselves to impossible standards. When you have a perfectionistic attitude you will inevitably fail to live up to it.

Then you'll naturally react with self-loathing and criticism.

For example, maybe you have a belief that says you're supposed to eat only 'good' food like fruits and vegetables all day long. The first time you deviate, even a little, from this impossibly high standard you'll end up feeling horrible about yourself.

You may beat yourself up and even end up binging because you feel so bad about your 'failure'.

One of the best ways you can love yourself is to stop demanding perfection. Realize that you're only human and love yourself despite your less-than-perfect performance.

Conclusion:

Loving yourself is a decision you can make today. It can change your outlook - and literally change your life.

Choosing to accept your body unconditionally is one of the best steps you can take to overcome emotional eating. It won't solve all of your problems but it is a great step in the right direction.

Was this information useful? This article on Loving Yourself is one of several articles found in our Emotional Eating tips section.